When you ________, I feel _________, because________. I need you to ________________, please.Â
Having trouble communicating with someone? Most of us have heard about using “I” statements for conflict resolution. Our students grow up at Rainbow learning how to recognize their feelings and how to express themselves compassionately, yet firmly. In many cases, they are better at it than adults.Â
Recently, the faculty had two opportunites to learn more about healthy communication and conflict resolution, both so we can teach it to our students and for our own personal and professional growth. Jerry Donoghue led a Compassionate Communication training at our faculty retreat in August, and in September, Rachelle Sorensen-Cox, from Girls on the Run, incorporated communication issues into her ADHD training. Rachelle taught us the “When you-I feel-because-I need you to… please” technique. The Girls on the Run program teaches this technique to girls in third through eighth grade.
Try it out, and you will find it really works. Why? Because it requires the speaker to identify what their true feelings are and what their needs are, without blaming anyone. As Jerry Donoghue puts it, “Most people are living in a right/wrong paradigm. Compassionate Communication gets us out of the ‘I’m right and your wrong’ mindset, and helps us communicate about what the true issues are, so we can solve problems.”
By the way, we learned in Compassionate Communication the difference between feelings and verbs. For example, If you were to say, ” I feel judged.” That isn’t a feeling, per se. Why not?  Your main clue is that judged is a verb. What you are really doing is accusing the listener of  judging, or of being judgemental, so it’s not really an “I” statement. Whereas, if you say you feel uncomfortable, that is an emotion.Â
Social and emotional intelligence is the key to successful friendships, relationships, and careers. As we learn to develop new communication habits as adults, hopefully, our children will learn from our example, and they won’t have to unlearn poor habits later on. To learn more about Compassionate Communcation visit www.cnvc.org.
It’s on the radio, in the news…and in the classroom. We hear about ADD and ADHD on a regular basis, and it’s a very controversial topic. Does it even exist? Is it new or has it always existed? Is it caused by media exposure? Diet? Pollution?
Given the list of symptoms, one wonders if half the population or more is on the attention deficient disorder spectrum. If so many people really have it, is it even a disorder?
Most importantly, for educators: If so many children have ADD or ADHD, how should school be structured to accommodate this large population?
Teacher Training
This was the topic of an all day teacher training at Rainbow Mountain Children’s School. We invited five experts from our community to discuss this important topic with our faculty and to answer our questions.
All the presentations were excellent, including Rudi Rodriguez, director of ADHD Center for Success. You may have just heard Rudi on WCQS’ Evening Rounds radio show with David Hurand.
By the end of the day, we had accomplished several learning goals:
Welearned how to identify symptoms of ADHD. Ron Stier, program manager for professional parenting helped with indentifying behaviors and how to curb the behavior challenges ADHD children present. Personally, I now feel that whether a child is officially diagnosed or not, isn’t as important as how we best meet each child’s needs. Almost everyone has at least one trait in common with ADD or ADHD, so it makes sense to be able to recognize these traits, and help children as needed.
Strategies for accommodating specific children in the classroom. A typical dilemma is how to accommodate one child without distracting others. For example, it isn’t uncommon for an ADHD kid to do a lot of fiddling, clicking a pen, tapping, etc. These behaviors do actually help them focus (otherwise they are in danger of spacing off), but they sometimes distract other students. A wise teacher has quiet objects available for them to fiddle with, such as modeling clay or beeswax. We have folks on staff who are well-versed in this area and can provide tools for students.
Strategies to implement for the whole class that help ADHD children, but they are simply good teaching techniques that are helpful for all children. Rachelle Sorensen-Cox, of Girls on the Run, actually took us on a run/walk to help demonstrate how essential physical activity is for the brains of all children, but especially those with ADHD. After getting the heart rate up, endorphins flood the brain, and ADHD kids can concentrate. Most important, school should be a vibrant place that addresses the whole child. Learning should be, and can be, enjoyable for all children.
Maintaining a Loving Environment
In general, the best environment for focus is one that is loving; enjoyable; challenging and stimulating; with an underlying, predictable structure and rhythm.
It felt good to receive confirmation that we are already, naturally implementing these techniques, but we’ll be more conscious of them, and we added a lot of new tools to our teaching tool box. Most importantly, we see each child as an individual.
If you sometimes wonder if your child has ADHD and you are looking for resources, here are some resources:
Dulcimers made and played, beautiful clean hardwood floors to hold morning circles, private lockers for preteens in Omega, creative art supplies for budding artists in preschool and the lively interactions on the playground of a truly economic and socially diverse group of children…
Where do all these additions to enrich Rainbow Mountain Children’s School come from? They are made possible by each and every Rainbow Mountain family making their tax-deductible donation to the Rainbow Mountain Foundation. The Rainbow Mountain Foundation has for over fifteen years enriched our school and paid for creative and practical ideas and supplies for our wonderful, dedicated and talented teachers to enrich our children’s experience like no other school.
What and who is the Foundation? You, each and every Rainbow family, from preschool to Omega are the Rainbow Mountain Foundation and the way to support all the extras that every school requires.
The Foundation’s goal this year is $55,000. We move toward our goal with this letter to your family and plan to celebrate your support for our children by December. Please take the time now to pick up a pen and write out a check to the Rainbow Mountain Foundation, or simply indicate on the form provided the amount you wish to have billed to your account. It is essential that we all participate, whether we choose to forego a Friday night pizza and movie or we have the ability to make a large donation, each and every donation adds to creative programs and supplies that make Rainbow Mountain Children’s School a special place to grow and learn.
We all have so much to be thankful for at Rainbow Mountain Children’s School: a loving community of families; healthy children, eager to learn and grow; and motivated, talented teachers. Let’s show our support today.  If you have questions, please ask one of the volunteer Foundation members or your class parent. Some additional information is provided on the back of this letter about the Rainbow Mountain Foundation.
With love and gratitude,
Sarah Corley
Chair, Rainbow Mountain Foundation
Rainbow Mountain teachers offer our children education from the heart to the heart. In order to do so effectively, they need your support. The Rainbow Mountain Foundation provides a classroom allowance to each teacher to spend on items needed to effectively teach your children. Maps, microscopes, books, chairs, and lockers, are all items that teachers have purchased with RMF funds to enhance the learning environment in their classrooms.
Rainbow Mountain should be open to anyone whose heart calls them to the school, regardless of material wealth. You can make this vision a reality through your donation to the RMF. Money raised by RMF goes to provide scholarships to families who could not otherwise afford the tuition. These families increase the economic, social and cultural diversity that make our community vibrant.
Rainbow Mountain nurtures children in all realms: spiritual, emotional, social, physical, and intellectual. This holistic approach to education requires a strong emphasis in the arts, which connects all the domains. Funds raised by the Rainbow Mountain Foundation support visiting artists in residence at Rainbow Mountain. Students have learned puppetry, performed on their own hand-made dulcimers, choreographed and performed original dances, and sung and recorded original world music — all drawing upon the wealth of local artists in our community.
Smiling, squealing, Kindergarten “Mariposas” had a lovely first week of school, continuing several long-held Rainbow Mountain traditions. Beginning with themselves, students created self portraits, talked about their families, and each day shared individual reflections at the Closing Circle. Every morning with friends they explored their classroom finding seashells, river rocks, blocks, kitchen items, wooden animals, magic stones and much more. Along with teachers Doreen and Joy, they sang songs, did yoga, created watercolors, heard stories and learned how to “shake their sillies out!” Within the wider Rainbow community, they hosted a visit by the first grade class, introduced themselves to director Renee Owen, and played soccer with the second and third grade students. Mariposas will have numerous enriching experiences as they cross the bridge between the magical, creative playfulness of preschool and the cognitive development of the elementary years.
A little girl from a public school was telling a little girl who attends Rainbow Mountain Children’s School that she has a principal at her school. The Rainbow child boasted, “We don’t have a principal at Rainbow, we have an executioner!”Â
What we actually have is an exectuive director, but that child wasn’t worried about whether she had the word exactly right. Young children who have been raised compassionately are not afraid of making mistakes or of being wrong. They say goofy things all the time, and if no one has mocked them, they don’t mind adults chuckling at how “cute” they are. In order to learn, they have to be willing to dig in and try new things, without fear of doing it “wrong,” or, as we say at Rainbow, without being too self conscious. In a marvelous lecture by Sir Ken Robinson (from a past TED event), SKR points out that it is this willingness to explore, to “have a go” at something, that leads to creativity.
Unfortunately, in conventional education with its atmosphere of tesing, children early on learn that mistakes are the worst thing they can make. SKR argues that in the American educational system, children are educated out of their creativity.
To see all of Sir Ken Robinsons’s TED speech titled “Do Schools Kill Creativity?,” visit Do Schools Kill Creativity? SKR has classic English wit, so be prepared to be entertained AND educated.
Our mission statement includes the word “discovery.” We agree with Sir Ken Robinson when he claims that children are born creative, and our job as educators isn’t to teach them how to be creative, but how to enhance their creativity and make is useful. Both at school at home, we want our children to feel safe to explore, try new things, and to learn from their mistakes.
