“I’m totally surprised and have never been more honored in my entire life…” Those were my words as I proudly accepted the PEACE PRIZE. The Fourth/Fifth grade “Fantastics” are studying twelve different Peace Prize Laureates from all parts of the world through the Peace Jam Curriculum. They learn the biography of each Laureate, his/her region’s geography, history, culture, and political landscape. Most importantly, they learn about virtue and character by studying what makes each laureate a hero, and talking about how they desire to help create a peaceful world as children and as they grow up. After designing and making their own Peace Prize medals, they each nominated someone for a prize and wrote an essay explaining why their nominee deserves the prize. To receive such high regard from these peace-loving children was an achievement that I was honored to receive.
Executive Director, Renee Owen are volunteering to present the Awakening the Dreamer Symposium at Rainbow Mountain Saturday, November 6, from 10am to 5pm. FREE! Bring a pot luck dish. Students are welcome, but content is recommended for 7th grade and up. There is childcare for only $10/day for younger students.
Q: Why should I attend Awakening the Dreamer?
A: Because it will change your life.
If the last election gave you the blues, this will inspire you and give you hope. Visit http://awakeningthedreamer.org/content/view/115/135/ to learn more
Here is a terrific lecture with animation that talks about where public education is today; how it got there, and what needs to change.
Interestingly, all of the solutions are exactly what we already do at Rainbow Community School!
(This is an 11 minute video. If you want the whole 55 minutes lecture, you can find it on YouTube under “Sir Ken Robinson; Changing Paradigms.”)
When I dropped by our second grade classroom this morning, I was invited to stay for Centering. For a moment, I hesitated to accept the teacher’s invitation, then did. Slipping off my shoes and sitting down between two children, I noticed the wall clock read 2:00, not the appropriate 8:45. “I’ll have to bring her some batteries,” I thought.
But as we closed our eyes and took our first slow breath together, I found myself offering an appreciation for that little clock. “Oh good,” I thought. “Since I won’t know the time, I won’t feel rushed to get back to the office. I’ll be able to relax and enjoy this!” Inhaling and exhaling together for the second time, I smiled to myself, realizing I’d just been given a gentle reminder. A reminder to stop, breathe, and be – existing totally in the present moment.
On our third in and out breath, my appreciation shifted from the clock to our teachers – my own son’s teachers. Over the past eight years, their ability to be present to him and to all our children has been one of the things I have been most grateful for – something I’m sure doesn’t appear on any of their resumes. “I need to tell them this,” I reminded myself as I became present to the teacher’s words.
Slipping my shoes back on and hugging a few children goodbye as I left their classroom, I found myself wanting to leave that little clock just as it is. ~ Carole
How do we gauge how much to expect from our child?  For example, by the age of ten, my expectations of my oldest daughter were very adult-like, but every once in a while I would catch a glimpse of her from a distance, and I would realize how little she still was. I was telling Jessica Redford, one of our wise preschool teachers, about this, and she replied, “High expectations aren’t so bad; it’s how you react when your expectations are not met that matters.”Â
Low expectations are just as common. Our children develop so quickly, that often we don’t notice they are ready for a new level of challenge. Just when we figure out one stage of development, they’re on to another phase. Jessy Tickle, another RMCS preschool teacher, told me last week about a student who wanted his parent to zip up his coat. The parent said, “But Miss Jessy tells me you can do this by yourself at school.” The boy replied to his mom, “Did Miss Jessy tell you that?!”  (Now he knows that Miss Jessy and mom are a team.)  Parents have learned a lot from seeing how much their child can accomplish in school. As teachers, we are not doing our job if we don’t push kids a little beyond their comfort zone in order to develop more independence and responsibility.  I often have to restrain myself from swooping in to help a four year old close up his lunch box, for instance. It only seems natural to help, but the teachers will patiently allow them time to do it on their own, and if the child asks for help, they’ll provide assistance or a verbal clue, rather than doing it for them.  Our teachers have high regard for their students.
After I entered the teaching profession, my expectations for my own children would recalibrate frequently, as I was able to compare them with a variety of other children. Child development texts may be the official source, and other parent literature is helpful, but if you really want to know what your expectations should be at this stage, ask a teacher. You’ll find that Rainbow teachers are more than happy to share their observations with you. Of course, another great source is other parents. Rainbow is a giant parent support group. If you think something your child is doing is abnormal, just ask other parents, and they’re likely to tell you their child is doing the same thing. There is no such thing as normal. Every child is totally unique and wonderful.
When you ________, I feel _________, because________. I need you to ________________, please.Â
Having trouble communicating with someone? Most of us have heard about using “I” statements for conflict resolution. Our students grow up at Rainbow learning how to recognize their feelings and how to express themselves compassionately, yet firmly. In many cases, they are better at it than adults.Â
Recently, the faculty had two opportunites to learn more about healthy communication and conflict resolution, both so we can teach it to our students and for our own personal and professional growth. Jerry Donoghue led a Compassionate Communication training at our faculty retreat in August, and in September, Rachelle Sorensen-Cox, from Girls on the Run, incorporated communication issues into her ADHD training. Rachelle taught us the “When you-I feel-because-I need you to… please” technique. The Girls on the Run program teaches this technique to girls in third through eighth grade.
Try it out, and you will find it really works. Why? Because it requires the speaker to identify what their true feelings are and what their needs are, without blaming anyone. As Jerry Donoghue puts it, “Most people are living in a right/wrong paradigm. Compassionate Communication gets us out of the ‘I’m right and your wrong’ mindset, and helps us communicate about what the true issues are, so we can solve problems.”
By the way, we learned in Compassionate Communication the difference between feelings and verbs. For example, If you were to say, ” I feel judged.” That isn’t a feeling, per se. Why not?  Your main clue is that judged is a verb. What you are really doing is accusing the listener of  judging, or of being judgemental, so it’s not really an “I” statement. Whereas, if you say you feel uncomfortable, that is an emotion.Â
Social and emotional intelligence is the key to successful friendships, relationships, and careers. As we learn to develop new communication habits as adults, hopefully, our children will learn from our example, and they won’t have to unlearn poor habits later on. To learn more about Compassionate Communcation visit www.cnvc.org.
